getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
