Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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