i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm both gender and math confused
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
