He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
