I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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