He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
