Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
