I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
