pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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