Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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