At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
