i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
