I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
