Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
