Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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