In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
please come you make the beer taste better
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
