im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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