but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
