I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
