Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
