I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
