"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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