she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
