Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
