What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
