Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
