This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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