I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
