I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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