now i know why i became what i already was.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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