At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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