Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
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