..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
