allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
