allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
