Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
