Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
