I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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