so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
