the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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