We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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