My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
