We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
