Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
