My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
