I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
