This is not my ceiling
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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