i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Randomize