I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
