she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Watching her eat just hurts me
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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